Some childhood dreams reside within us until we realize them, while others fade away as life happens. I was quite the dreamer as a child (and still am).
My parents helped fulfill some dreams in my younger years. For example, I joined Girl Scouts for several years in elementary school, and I began flute lessons not long after I started in band.
One of my top dreams came true when my parents gave me an open-hole flute as a Christmas present in my first year of high school. I made second chair in the top band; I had come from the poorest middle school in town, and the adults were surprised at how well I could play.
For several years, I had dreamed of owning an open-hole flute, as the tone was so much better, and playing the flute enhanced my life.
Life Can Alter Your Childhood Dreams at a Young Age
Unfortunately, my abuser (an upper elementary school teacher) passed around a paper the following spring full of lies about me; her enabler immediately ensured that I lost the chair I’d earned and could never regain it.
My childhood dreams of playing in the symphony dried up with that, as did my chance for musical scholarships. Thus, my life and dreams shifted.
Some childhood dreams dissolve as we grow and as our goals change. I stopped wanting to meet Debbie Gibson in person when I discovered other musicians.
I gave up on gymnastics after I broke my wrist at school when some boys knocked me over while I was doing a back walkover.
However, Some Dreams Persist
Some of my most cherished dreams have already been fulfilled, like my first career choice and major in college: elementary teacher. Other wishes have yet to be granted, like going on an archaeological or paleontological dig.
Some I’m resurrecting slowly and carefully, like writing a book. Others I’ve recently realized through a trip with my best friend/soul sister.
I’m moving across the country in the middle of August and am not only preparing for the move, but also spending time with those I love and exploring my beloved home state of Montana.
The upcoming move is bringing up complicated emotions. I’m excited to move closer to family and friends across the country, though, of course, my life and world will look different. I will deeply miss my friends and chosen family here, and I’m grieving.
I knew that I needed to move back here, where my life began and where I lived as a child. Now, I know it’s time to move on.
Moving always comes with various challenges, including sorting through and giving away belongings. Oh my goodness, the number of books I’ve given away has made me sad, but the reality is that it’s too costly to move them so far.
Thus, grief strikes with even small acts like this.
One’s world is upending with a move. I’m releasing the past with gentleness looking toward the future with hope.
As Kids, it is Hard to Fathom the Direction Your Life Will Go
Old memories arise as I sort through accumulated treasures from my job and my whole life. I fondly remember former students as I look through the letters and drawings that I’ve kept.
I hug a stuffed animal that I made my grandparents when I was 10 years old and now have it again in remembrance of them. Or, I find an old story I wrote as a kid when I dreamt of becoming a writer, and I laugh at its sweetness and humor.
Decisions about what to keep and release can be painful, liberating, and necessary. I let go of some things to make room for new experiences, and I keep others as mementos.
None of these decisions are easy.
There is Much to Realize About Childhood Dreams
Thus, breaks for rest, self-care, travel, enjoyment, and dreaming are essential, as is nurturing one’s inner child.
My soul sister reserved a cabin between Anaconda and Philipsburg. On the way there, we took a detour through Bozeman, a college town where I earned my doctorate.
Bozeman has drastically changed since COVID times.
It’s grown tremendously, become an expensive place to live, and no longer has the gentle, patient vibe I felt when I lived there. I felt disappointed, but also as though it was easier to let go of Bozeman, as the small-town pace and feeling had mostly vanished.
It was the first time I’d traveled west of Four Corners. What a stunning drive, from the breathtaking mountain views to the verdant farms and ranches, the rivers, wildflowers, and dramatic changes in scenery.
Virginia City is a mining town I’ve wanted to visit since I learned about it in elementary school. At the time, I wanted to visit because of the ghosts said to haunt it and its history.
The town is touristy, which I didn’t expect, but it’s fun to walk around and explore the old stores and other buildings. The 3-7-77 logo is emblazoned on t-shirts, hats, stickers, and elsewhere.
The story of the rough-and-tumble mining towns with violence, vigilantes, corruption, and more litter the pages of history books. I, of course, purchased one of the books.
Sometimes Childhood Dreams Exceed the Vision in Your Head
With one childhood dream checked off, we headed to Ruby River Reservoir. The water level was high, but that didn’t matter. I decided to search for tiny garnets along the sand at the shoreline of the boat launches, anyway.
I found some! If the lake had less water, I think I would have found more. However, I still realized a dream.
The drive back to I-90 through the back roads took my breath away and made me feel like I’d landed in a beautiful daydream.
Mountains ringed the valleys, and delightful small towns hugged the roads, offering painted grocery storefronts, ubiquitous bars, restaurants, and more.
Peace filled the journey as we drank in the view of the countryside. I love the back roads of Montana; they are filled with a gorgeousness that is not as present along the interstate; it is more rare to notice an unusual house or barn when driving along I-90 than when exploring other roads.
We eventually had to return to the interstate. As we traveled through Homestake Pass, a beautiful rainbow appeared. Soon after, we saw an iridescent cloud.
By the time we got to the cabin, night had almost fallen. The cabin was simple but stunning. I went to bed happy and excited.
Achieving a Dream at Any Age Feels Awesome
The next morning, birdsong awakened me earlier than usual. It was the day we were going to Gem Mountain!
When I was in 3rd grade, the gifted and talented program (GATE) at my school had some grant money, so we had an actual program. I was placed with the 4th-6th graders. My favorite unit was the rocks and minerals unit. I always had rocks in my pockets, room, and pretty much everywhere.
I was beyond excited when our gifted teacher ordered a bucket of gravel from the Sapphire mine. The bigger children kept crowding me out when the gravel was poured on the table. So, I went under the table and sorted through all the gravel they pushed off.
I found more tiny sapphires than anyone; the exclusion resulted in my success.
Those, along with the garnets the teacher gave us all, were my favorite parts of my rock collection. I carefully labeled each rock and mineral we received in GATE and learned all about its properties. I treasured them.
Not realizing how much they meant to me, my mother threw them out when she was cleaning.
I was heartbroken, but I vowed to find my own garnets and sapphires one day. Finally, in this moment, with the support of my friend, I could achieve that dream.
At Gem Mountain, one can buy buckets of gravel from the mine. The gravel is pre-screened so that the company can sell the larger sapphires, but the smaller ones are mixed back in.
I first dumped some gravel into a rectangular box with a screen on the bottom. Next, I went to the water trough and washed the gravel, shaking and lightly bouncing it so that the sapphires ended up on or near the bottom, and much of the dirt was washed away.
Finally, I flipped the box over and sorted through the gravel with tweezers to pick up the sapphires.
It’s messy, fun work, though with long COVID, it gets tiring after a few hours. My muscles became weak, and my heart rate increased.
I found some rare pink sapphires, as well as blue, green, yellow, and white ones. More than half were less than a carat, but I had ones over a carat as well.
I hope to use them in jewelry someday; I’d love to give my future spouse a ring made with gems from my home state.
The last dream fulfilled on this trip was visiting Bannock Ghost Town, which we did as a detour on the way home. I didn’t know what to expect, but I loved it and wanted to go back.
Bannock has many preserved buildings with substantial energy and ghosts around. It was everything that I imagined a ghost town could be.
Be Grateful for Your Dreams, Support System, and the Life You Build
I am incredibly lucky to have the best friend I do. She and I had so much fun, spent time together, and made beautiful memories. I am going to miss her more than words can say.
If you’d asked me just a few months ago if these childhood wishes would be fulfilled, especially before I moved back east, I would have said no way.
I had no sense that could happen. But thanks to her, I could add these to my completed bucket list items and have so much joy, happiness, and adventure fill my heart and soul.
It’s never too late to fulfill your childhood dreams.
Share some dreams you have had since childhood that you want to achieve in the comment section.