Words Have Power: What is Your ‘One Little Word’
Words have power.
Depending on how one uses them, words can heal and harm, build and destroy, connect and break, soothe and threaten, and much more.
What someone else says can stick with us for years and even a lifetime.
Words Impact the Brain
Unfortunately, negative speech tends to have a more lasting impact than positive speech because of the brain’s negativity bias.
Our brains are primed to look for threats to enhance our ability to survive.
When our environments contain numerous threats in childhood, such as various forms of neglect, abuse, bullying, and other ongoing traumas, that wires our brains to focus more on adversity in hopes of endurance.
Critical and/or harsh statements from loved ones tend to linger the longest and do the most damage. When the harmful comments come in a storm and/or when someone is more vulnerable, the injury tends to be worse.
On the other hand, positive words also have lasting impacts. Many people can readily recall comments that have changed their lives for the better, or words that they cling to for support and encouragement.
The way we talk to ourselves and others, the words we use and hear, texts we read, and more alter our brains and even impact our gene expression.
The Power of Words Should Not Be Ignored
I like playing with words, and I’ve long realized their impact. Like everyone, sometimes I’ve misused words and caused harm. Other times I’ve soothed souls with compassionate communication.
I learned at a young age how powerful words were. The clouds of shame that accompanied harmful expressions prevented me from seeing myself and lowered my self-esteem.
I let myself be bound by constraints in others’ thinking and by their own pain and shame, and it became my internal dialogue. These negative thoughts and self-talk had a profound impact on me almost my whole life.
Since I knew the power of a careless word, I worked on choosing my words carefully. Kind words in times of challenge can make all the difference. My words could become healthy or unwholesome talk in someone’s mind.
I started getting curious about whether choosing one single word to prioritize for a year would impact me. One friend had been doing this for over a decade.
She started several years after Ali Edwards came up with this idea.
My Travels with One Little Word
Right before 2022, I considered what I wanted to accomplish in the upcoming year. What did I hope for? Did I want to cultivate a new understanding or perspective, change my story, do great things, build confidence, or something else?
What necessary changes did I need to make?
A friend cautioned me that whatever word she chose gave her plenty of ways to practice it. She encouraged me to choose carefully. I didn’t truly understand what she meant.
After journaling and thinking it over, I chose the word “courage.” I thought that this word would move me in the right direction and help me grow. It did, in rather unexpected ways.
Throughout that year, I experienced many ways to embody courage, as discussed in an article I wrote about my 2022 and 2023 words for Voices Heard.
One of the ways I showed courage was to speak truth and tell my story of being a survivor. I was scared due to the hurtful ways some people responded when I first told on my abuser. Then, I decided that people would make up their own minds about me regardless.
I needed to reclaim my voice and hopefully help another by speaking up. If her enablers decided to engage in spreading rumors again, so be it. The real power comes from speaking truth regardless of the consequences.
In the second year, I chose love. Although I am good at showing love to others, I realize that self-love is an area in which I need to grow. Again, the universe provided me with many opportunities to practice—and still does.
I enjoy building people up and need to learn how to do the same with myself.
What surprised me was how my words intertwined; I learned how much courage it takes to shift into self-love and self-compassion.
It takes both courage and love—as well as self-respect—to speak and write the truth when one has been silenced.
In 2023, I started telling my story in spoken and written form, such as in articles, podcasts, and more. I challenged myself to do this as a way to work on love and courage together; my confidence grew and my fears decreased.
In 2024, I thought perhaps I would choose a positive word that maybe wouldn’t test me so much. I thought of encouraging words, kind words, and caring words, and took time to write and think carefully.
The power of words had chosen me this needed to be a heartfelt choice.
Choosing Joy for 2024
I chose the word joy. I thought that if I focused on joy for the year, I could try to find or create moments of joy each day. The goal was to heal my heart more, reclaim more of my power, and continue speaking my truth and helping others.
Nineteen days into the new year, my sweet 14-year-old dog died. He was the brightest part of every day and brought me endless joy, love, laughter, and comfort.
He was my soulmate in puppy form and the embodiment of unconditional love.
After he died, I was adrift. I hated the word I chose. It was easier to be mad at the word than to deal with the immense grief and depression of this heartbreaking loss.
I didn’t want to get up because I had no wagging tail and sweet face and snuggles greeting me. My heart was shattered, and I stumbled through my days.
Everything that once brought me joy no longer did. I isolated myself. Survival took more energy. I didn’t care about my word for the year. I merely existed. Basic self-care required more energy than I was able to muster at times.
How does one grieve the passing of the soul who’d gotten them through huge losses? How could I continue on the healing journey when the one who anchored me was gone?
Moving Forward Despite My Grief and Believing in the Power of Words
I didn’t know how to find myself again, much less move forward in my life. It seemed as though anything positive had winked out when he breathed his last. I was profoundly grieving, though few around me realized it.
Joy seemed like an impossible dream. But it was one I knew my living and deceased loved ones, including my darling puppy, would want me to find again.
There is love and courage in continuing to live and making space around the grief–growing the container, so to speak.
I started slowly, searching for things that brought a smile. Eventually, joy appeared, and I was back on track with finding and creating moments of joy in each day.
It took time, self-compassion, and understanding that joy, love, and courage still existed within me.
This year was a tough one. But remembering the lesson from the beginning of the year, I’ve sought out moments of joy especially amid turmoil and change. Memories of my sweet dog bring me both joy and grief; they are walking hand-in-hand.
Words Have Power and the Ability to Create a Positive Impact
I’ve also learned how much joy, love, and courage walk together. It takes tremendous love and courage to face grief, to go through change, and to still find moments of joy.
The ability to find joy in the face of challenging times is an act of love for oneself and others. Turning to joy and love when the world is overwhelming takes immense courage.
Joy, love, and courage are ways to resist cruelty, progress on a healing journey, advocate with minoritized groups, and make a positive difference in the world.
I’ve already selected my word for 2025: Magic.
Although I know life will teach me what I most need to know, my hopes are to embrace my innate magic and to look for the magic within all beings. I’m looking forward to seeing how courage, love, joy, and magic entwine in 2025.
What is the most impactful thing someone has said to you?
Have you participated in choosing a word to focus on for a year?
We’d love to hear from you in the comments!
